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  • Jessica Holfeltz

Creating Space


“I am mine

before I am

ever anyone

else’s.”


~ Nayirrah Waheed



How do you create space for yourself? Creating space for YOU {nurturing YOU} is crucial to be able to SHARE YOU with another person {people}. What do I mean by this? Ever heard of the idea you can't pour from an empty cup? That's the idea. But, what does this mean? What does it mean to take care of yourself first? Sounds pretty selfish - especially looking from the not-so-modern sense that still exists at women, specifically. Your duty is to be a good wife and mother. Lose yourself in service to others. Find yourself in service to others. If you're uncomfortable or sad, do it anyway, it will make you feel better. Fake it 'till you make it. Smiling uses less muscles than frowning. Oh, and by the way anger isn't ok {in women}.


Start paying attention to the verbal and non-verbal messages being sent to you. Are they serving you? If they aren't, Marie Kondo them out of you being. Bless and release, friends. Bless and release.




Not sure where to start with creating space for you {aka self care}? Here are some ideas to get you started:


Give yourself 'time outs' during the day - moments to breathe, anchor, and ground

Start reading a book for 20+ minutes a few days a week {or more!}

When you shower, be intentional - notice what it feels like in your body to have warm water cleanse you. Give yourself a scalp massage while washing your hair

Say no to something you don't want to do

Say yes to something you want to do

Plan things in the future that are fun/exciting to look forward to

Paint your nails

Enjoy a sunset {maybe with a some ice cream}

Create something

Listen to the words of your favorite song

Listen to nature sounds

Stretch for 5 minutes when you wake up

Stretch for 5 minutes before going to bed

Go to bed 30 minutes earlier

Set up a relaxation routine before going to bed

Set up scheduled breaks from you phone/social media

Be still


Remember to breathe.










Image by: Milan Popovic

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©2020 by Jessica Holfeltz, LCMHC, LLC. The contents of this site are for informational and educational purposes only. Nothing found on this website is intended to be a substitute for professional psychological, psychiatric or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.